"Because parenting can be such a dizzying task, professionals working with parents need to have intelligible, compassionate, and ethical principles to guide their work. John and Rita Sommers-Flanagan have mastered this complex terrain, and we are fortunate, in this articulate and accessible book, to gain from their exceptional experience and wisdom."
Andrew Peterson, EdD, author,The Next Ten Minutes: 51 Absurdly Simple Ways to Seize the Moment

Step-by-step guidance for building healthy dialogues with parents that open communication and promote positive outcomes

Embracing the uniqueness of every parent, family situation, and practitioner,How to Listen so Parents Will Talk and Talk so Parents Will Listen helps professionals address the parent-child problems that families often find puzzling or challenging and for which they seek support and guidance.

How to Listen so Parents Will Talk and Talk so Parents Will Listen features many specific interventions and methods for helping parents implement developmentally appropriate and scientifically supported strategies for building healthy parent-child relationships and working through the most common conflicts encountered in families. It includes:

Tips for creating a positive therapist-client experience with parents

Guidelines for working with a variety of parents

Parenting tip sheets and homework assignments

Case studies focusing on many different parenting problems, including the strong-willed child, divorce, homework battles, spanking, and more

How to Listen so Parents Will Talk and Talk so Parents Will Listen will help you develop positive relationships with parents so that constructive two-way dialogue can be established. Even the most difficult and resistant parents can be successfully engaged through the helpful strategies, advice, and tools found in this practical guide.

JOHN SOMMERS-FLANAGAN, PHD, is an Associate Professor in the Department of Counselor Education at The University of Montana. He serves as??a psychological??consultant with Trapper Creek Job Corps, a vocational and educational facility. His research interests include clinical interviewing, parent consultations,??and adolescent psychotherapy.

RITA SOMMERS-FLANAGAN, PHD, is a Professor in the Department of Counselor Education??at The University of Montana. She??provides mental health??consultation at the Missoula Vet Center and Trapper Creek Job Corps. She has taught and written in the area of applied, practical ethics for the past fifteen years.

Case Examples ix

Preface xi

Part One: Understanding And Being With Parents

Chapter One

A Way of Being With Parents 3

Chapter Two

Preparing Yourself to Work Effectively With Parents 17

Chapter Three

What Parents Want: A Model for Understanding Adult Influence 33

Part Two: Strategies For Working With Parents

Chapter Four

From Initial Contact to Assessment: Building and Maintaining a Working Relationship With Parents 57

Chapter Five

Collaborative Problem Formulation 75

Chapter Six

Creating and Providing Guidance, Advice, and Solutions 93

Part Three: Practical Techniques For Parenting Challenges

Chapter Seven

Teaching Relationship-Based Interventions to Parents 113

Chapter Eight

Sharing Power to Gain Influence: Indirect and Problem-Solving Interventions 133

Chapter Nine

A New-and-Improved Behaviorism: Child-Friendly but Direct Approaches to Discipline 153

Chapter Ten

Ongoing Contact, Complications, and Referrals 177

Chapter Eleven

Dealing With Special Situations and Issues 195

Appendix A: An Annotated Bibliography of Parenting Books 209

Appendix B: Tip Sheets for Parents 217

Appendix C: Parent Satisfaction and Counselor Reflection Inventory 229

Appendix D: Master List of Attitudes, Strategies, and Interventions 233

Appendix E: Chapter Checklists 235

Appendix F: Parent Homework Assignments 241

References 261

Author Index 271

Subject Index 275